Here's to Health

As do most people, I made a resolution this year to improve my health.  I don't think the past few years I have gotten too goal oriented on this matter, because I was either pregnant or had a wee-wittle baby.  However, health and wellness is a passion of mine.  I think it might even be my ministry, not sure how that will develop, but I enjoy it and think about helping other people A LOT! 
I made a vision board and wrote down a few goals that I am striving for in life.  It was a positive experience because I really don't live life out of a lack mentality anymore.  My mantra really is limitless!  I know it takes time and patience to go from 0 to 100, but I have real hope and peace.
So this year, my health goals feel attainable.  My vision board has a before picture of me on it, and I have a goal outfit on.  It doesn't fit, lol.  And honestly, it's not that great or anything, but I want to fit into it!  The t-shirt was given to me when I was pregnant with Elijah and the back of it says "Metamorphosis" with a purple butterfly.  I just love it because it came from a special couple during a special occasion in our lives.  It was small and I have NEVER worn it, until I took that picture.  Anyway, I can't wait to wear it and it will fit! 
I have had a mind shift.  I have allowed my thyroid problems to really dominate my view of my health.  I let it take me to that "victim" place.  I used it as the excuse for why I always felt low-energy and couldn't lose weight despite knowing SO much about natural health and wellness.  It was real and I did feel very bad at times, but much of my weight gain is my own fault.  I ate too much, even if it was healthier choices, and exercised too little.  Simple as that!
I know the reality that even though I eat WAY healthier than I used to in my skinny days, I now have a food issue.  I do emotional eat and I do seek food for comfort when I am having a rough day.  And I eat when I'm bored.  I know where this all started, after the birth of Noah.  Before this, I didn't have a food emotional issue, but through the emotions of those experiences, I turned to food.  Sometimes it was even obsessive on the healthy end, because I wanted control.  But once I would make a mistake, I would give up and unconciously eat for comfort.
So, that brings me to NOW.  I am at a good mental place.  I still love food and want to eat for comfort, but I'm seeing what it is when it happens and make the choice not to do it.  I used to give myself the excuse that I am eating organic/whole foods, which is a better choice, but I still ate TOO much and emotionally ate it!  I have taught health and wellness classes at church a couple of times.  The first time, I was actually pretty healthy and in a good place.  In the middle of teaching these, I got pregnant and miscarried, and couldn't keep teaching.  I was just too devastated to continue.  I then became really obsessive about eating natural and organic because I felt like I needed to control anything I could so I wouldn't lose another baby.  I was off the deep end emotionally and began to live in a crazy cycle of eating/exercising and then overeating/not exercising, depending upon my emotional state. 
Last year, a friend asked me to teach health and wellness to our ladie's life group on Sunday morning.  I said "yes" but felt like a hipocrite.  I did do the things I taught and many of the women were blessed by it, but I condemned myself because I didn't "practice what I preached" 100% of the time.  Silly I know, because who does it all right all the time.  Then I heard another friend say, "we usually teach and focus on what we really are trying to overcome ourselves." Wow, that was an eye opener. 
I am passionate about healthy living, really passionate actually.  I love reading about it and helping others.  It is a natural passion and I see it more clearly as that now.  I heard this past week that many times our "ministry" is formed out of our biggest struggles/hardships/hurdles in life.  I had another moment of revelation.  Since Noah's birth, our family has faced a lot of physical health issues.  We have paid A LOT of our income to medical bills.  I have had a really hard time with my thyroid.  I have been prayed for A LOT and have prayed A LOT concerning healing.  I do believe in the power of healing, 100% even though sometimes it didn't happen the way I would have liked.  I will never stop believing that by His stripes I am healed.
I also believe that we have choices to make.  Just because I believe in healing, doesn't mean I can mistreat my body.  I CAN choose to eat healthy, I CAN choose to not overeat, and I CAN choose to exercise.  I am ABLE to do all these things and have NO excuses to not do them.  I realize that with having a health challenge, you may have bad days and you may get sick, but it shouldn't dictate the good days!  I let my thyroid dictate my good days, even if they weren't that often for a while.  I fell victim to the circumstance instead of holding onto the promise of healing. I am holding onto that promise and seeing EVERY challenge as a vehicle to get me to my destiny.
So I am making better choices, and knowing that if I mess up, I am not doomed to stay that way.  I have the tools, I know the basics, plus some, and I have the strength of the holy spirit guiding me.  I will become healthier and I will share this with others.  I will be patient and kind to myself.  I will be open to seeing different avenues that I haven't seen before.  I know I do not have to believe that because I was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition that I have no hope of healing.  I will believe as long as I have to that I am healed.  If nothing happens, and I believe until I die, so be it.  I know that my Father will give me the tools on my path to being delivered from this.  I just know it. 
I know this post is ALL over the place, but I had to proclaim it.  I have already seen the fruit of it since I made the decision to live it.  I look forward to feeling even better and seeing how God uses me to minister to others.