Sweet Ava Mae is One!!

*Giant Sigh*  Yes, it's ALREADY been a year since sweet Ava Mae was born.  She is so sweet and happy.  She has brought so much joy into our lives.  Third time was a charm.  All of my babies are charms, of course, I'm talking about my mothering experience.  I guess it just gets easier each time and I have really enjoyed this little girl.
I have a confession.  Before Ava was born, I wasn't sure I could bond with a little girl like I did my boys.  Kind of like how you wonder how in the world you'll love your second child as much as your first.  bwwwwahahahahahaha.  It's comical now to think I ever thought that.  She is so much fun, little girls are awesome!
In fact, I love how my boys interact with her, such little gentlemen.  They have a sweet side that really shines when they interact with their baby sister.  They are the best big brothers.
Ava has the best personality.  She is sweet, sassy, and funny all at the same time.  She is really tough, good thing with these boys around.  She is so smart, she repeats so many words, the other night she said "accident" as plain as day, and said it twice, just so we'd know she did.  She just seems to understand so much, and is pretty much cooperative.  She transitioned into her bed so easily.  The last one, not so much...and even still not so much, so I love her for that.  She does so good at church and the fitness center nursery, so Mama doesn't feel guilty for leaving a crying baby.  She is super ecstatic and might give a cute whine when I return, just to let me know I was missed.
When I got pregnant with her, I wasn't happy about it because I wasn't ready just yet for another baby.  I knew the moment I got pregnant, yes, I do.  Too much information to go into detail about, but I do know this without a doubt.  I will never forget my pregnancy with her though, because is was during this time that I got real with myself concerning my relationship with God, and grew so much, physically, spirtually, and mentally.  So from the beginning, she has blessed my life.  I love her so much and am so happy to have a daughter.  She is pretty much amazing.  Happy Birthday my sweet girl, you are a blessing always!      

House to Home: The Kitchen

I'm going to do some before and after's as I decorate the new house.  I was gonna wait until I was completely done with each room, but that might take a while, so I'll share as I go. 
This is what the kitchen looked like when we bought the house:



Oak Cabinets and Green Countertops circa 1990

And this is my sweet husband putting up my open shelving:

I love this dork. :)

These are the walls before my shelves:

One bracket down, 11 to go.



And now the "after" pictures:

I love how it has turned out, looks just like I hoped.  And my shelves make the whole room look so good!

Here's what we've completed:

Ripped out the side short cabinets

Put on new countertops

Painted the cabinets a bone color

Put new hardware on the cabinets

Replaced the faucet

Painted the walls

New switch plate covers

Replaced the stove and dishwasher(total blessing find)

Added an over the range microwave

Bought a rolling cart island to help with counter space

Things I still want to accomplish:

Making window treatments

Adding baseboards and trim around chimney

Adding a shelf or some cute antique to other side of chimney

Getting a matching stainless fridge(long term goal)

Replacing the light fixtures

And I know it looks like we spent a lot of money, but I was really resourceful and found lots of deals, so we were able to knock out a lot of projects and it turned out great!  I love re-design, and at least I'm using my degree in some way. 

  

Before



After



More to come and I'll update as we finish our list. 

Thanks for stopping by the homestead!









Hind Sight

Our "other" house is still for sale.  It's sitting there all by it's lonesome waiting for a family to call it a home.  The other day I went by to check the mail and water the plants and it brought back memories of the past five years.  You know how you just get used to something when it just becomes the "norm" but after that season has past, you see things in a different light?  Like everything seems to make more sense and you wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now?
When we bought that house, it was so exciting.  It was our first home, and it was brand-spanking new.  Our goal was to have a low-maintenance home(complete opposite of our new place! lol) and be close to my family.  Noah was 6 months old and we were still dealing with so many health issues and wanted to simplify everything we could because life was pretty much consumed with doctor's appointments.  It was clean, it was safe, and it was in a great neighborhood.  It was a good fit and we started a happy little family there. 
I like to organize and although I live with lots of messy people, I still keep on trying to maintain some order because it makes life a little more peaceful.  One thing I was thinking of as we got ready to move was how far I had come in simplifying our "stuff". "Simplify" has been my mantra for the past 3 years. 
When we were first married, we had lots of weird combined stuff.  Jason was really, really a pack rat, and I was a little bit of one.  He kept everything from his bachelor days that he thought was "cool" and I would always designate a room for this stuff, lol, usually the room no one saw too often.  We always laugh about it, and his new room is a giant 40 X 30 foot garage, aka the "man cave."  We're both happy now.  Jason has actually become a declutter king, sometimes I have to stop him from throwing everything away.  So miracles do happen. ;)
I am good at organizing "behind the scenes" and not so good at overall cleaning.  Look in my closets and drawers though and they usually look pretty neat.  Jason is good at making the house look great in 30 minutes.  So we're a good team. I bought the book "The House That Cleans Itself", because a bunch of church gals were bragging on it.  I thought, that sounds amazing, I want that!  So I read it and got prepared, but I got all crazy perfectionist and gave up because I couldn't do it 100%.  Same with Flylady's principles, although I will say, a lot of her advice has really stuck with me and helped on my simplifying journey.  If I ever get stuck, I will set a timer and go to room to room for 15 minutes.  It always amazes me how much I get done if I know that timer is set!      
In the book I mentioned above, she recommended you take pictures of your house all messy so you can see what you need to change.  A before and after type thing.  So when I was pregnant with Ava, I did this, because my house looked absolutely cluttered and out of control as it ever had during our entire time there.  I was big, miserable, and taking care of two little boys.  But yet, I still had the nerve to judge myself as pathetic for not having an immaculate house.  bwwwahahahaha, such a dork!  So I took these pictures and thought horrible thoughts about myself and had a pity party on how I can't do it all. waagggh waaggggh!  And looking back, the pictures weren't that bad!  I did that with a lot of areas in my life, I'd list all the stuff I needed to change and go on to try and fix it and then get discouraged when I'd end up back where I started. 
So were the heck am I going with all of this?  (I honestly sat down with the intention of writing a short blog, lol, I have too much to say!)  I used to be so hard on myself about pretty much anything that involved me doing something right.  If I coudln't do it to my standards, which are usually way too high, then I'd just give up.  Well, God is good and is helping me out with that stinkin' thinkin'.  I'm still working on it, but letting go of perfectionism=FREEDOM!
So back to the other day when I was at our for sale house.  I realized how far I had come, how many perfectionist expectations I let go of recently.  I saw that when I let go and let God, it happens effortlessly.
What happened to change this mentality?  I just seriously gave it to God and am focusing on who I am in Christ.  You know the scripture, "I can do all things in Heather who stengthens me?"  Only kidding, but I hope you get the point, I was thinking I could do everything out of my own strength.  The struggle to be better was just a heart issue that was deep rooted as a lack of my trust of who I am in Christ.  He is more than enough. 
So I took after pictures not long before we moved out.  These pictures are what my house had evolved into over the past five years.  It actually reflects the change in my heart.  A lot of the clutter has been removed and it just feels peaceful.  It's awesome how the issues of the heart radiate to every aspect of our life and it is also not so awesome if we ignore them and try to change ourselves out of our own strength.  As I looked around that empty house, I felt like I had pulled into the revelation station.  I was there, thinking it would be cool to go back and talk to me five years ago!
Seriously, all of this just made sense.  All of those years of worrying about being "perfect" and seeing how much time I wasted on trying to be good enough were basically blank thoughts as I focused on the good things.  Hindsight was 20/10!  I am beginning a new season of life with a better vision and letting my heart stuff just pour out as God shows me truths about who I am.  I'm not perfect and for the first time, I am okay with that.  It feels good to be okay with life as it is, walking each day in His glory, and realizing He's gonna show me all I need to know.  And He cares about every part....even my everyday life and my keeper of the home tasks.  He's using me and my mad skillz as a Mama to shape three pretty important lives.  I am thankful that He rescued me from myself and now I can look around my not-so-perfect house and feel COMPLETE peace.  Now that REALLY is a miracle!!  As I was looking through the "before" pictures, I noticed that the boys were following me around and were in most of them.  In the middle of my chaos, there they were, being sweet as ever.  In this one, I was taking a picture of my unmade bed, when the best part was those two little guys in it.  I'm so glad I am choosing to see life in the moment now.

 

Searching?

I have always liked this song, I really like U2, and Bono, well, he's pretty awesome too.  Tonight on my way home, I was listening to Delilah on the radio, and this song came on.  This song came out in the late 80's but I honestly didn't pay much attention to the lyrics until a few years ago.  Tonight, I was listening close because I knew there was a part about Jesus:

I believe in the kingdom come


Then all the colors will bleed into one

Bleed into one

Well yes I'm still running



You broke the bonds and you

Loosed the chains

Carried the cross

Of my shame

Of my shame

You know I believe it



But I still haven't found what I'm looking for........


At first I was thinking, why?  What else is there Mr. Bono?  Why would you need to find anything else?  That was my religious stinkin' thinking.  God spoke to my spirit and said, he is talking about relationship!  HOLY MOLY!! Gives me chills just writing it.

Many Christians, including myself, sometimes forget WHY our Saviour died for us.  Yes, yes, to save us from eternal seperation from God, but it goes beyond that.  He died so that we can have a relationship with God, HERE, right now, the very moment we believe!  If we don't get a true revelation of who we are in Christ, we will just keep looking, and looking, feeling empty because we don't see the full picture.  If we could truly comprehend what an amazing open-door policy we have with our God because of the sacrifice of Christ, man, would we stop searching!!

So I can really identify with Mr. Bono's lyrics now.  I will be honest and say, I still search more than I'd like to.  But, I know that is just my heart working on years of seeing God as "out there" and reaching for Him, searching for Him.  When all along, He was right here, in my heart.  He never left me, I never had to search any farther than my spirit.  So, keep those senses open to see what God is trying to show you, you'll be suprised at how close He really is, and maybe, it will help you find what you're looking for. 

Protecting your heart....

Above ALL else,  for out of the heart flow the issues of life.  So I've read Proverbs 4:23 before, but after reading a friend's blog post a few days ago, my mind has really been meditating on it.  "Above ALL else," those are some strong words.  The heart must be pretty important if God is telling us to guard it above everything else. 
So I started thinking about what I was letting IN my heart.  I am pretty emotional at times and I don't know if everyone is like this (probably not) but I have to really protect what I allow to enter my thoughts through my five senses.  
Like for example, music.  I love to sing, I love music, all kinds of music.  I have never fit into a "style" of music, I really appreciate many different styles.  I want to learn how to play piano and maybe even guitar...if I can get past the finger pain.  I have a musical "ear" and know it is a talent I need to uncover.  I have a thousand excuses why I haven't made time, but it is definitely on my bucket list. 
Sooo, how does this tie in with protecting my heart?  I have noticed that whatever music I listen to really can affect my heart.  My mood can change, memories often are sparked...sometimes good, sometimes bad.  I've noticed this for a while, but it seems to be so clear lately.  Music can really affect my emotions!  Whatever mood I'm in, I'll often enforce that by listening to a certain style of music.  Lately, however, I have found myself seriously paying attention to how I can make the choice to change my bad moods into better ones by listening to songs that glorify the goodness of God.  I am not going to say it happens immediately, but if I am willing to get out of my pity party and open my heart, He always comforts my soul. 
Another thing is what I am allowing myself to see.  A few examples are facebook, tv, movies, etc.  Starting with Facebook, I have to say I do like it, sometimes a lot.  For a while, it was my main way to socialize because I am a stay at home mom of three wittles.  Especially when I sat down to nurse Ava, I found myself reading about every Tom, Dick, and Harriet's life.  It got consuming and I realized I had to set some boundaries because I was getting in a facebook trance, wasting hours online.  So, I decided to fast from facebook for a week.  (This is not in any way intended to set a standard on how often to be on facebook, that is a personal revelation, so please don't feel like I'm trying to push my convictions on you.)  I could see how it was affecting my heart, so I decided to not let it do that by taking a break, deleting some drama llamas, and thinking about what I was posting myself. 
We do not have cable, so I don't have a big tv distraction.  We do have Netflix and watch movies so I just try to ask myself if what I choose to watch is going to affect my heart in a positive or negative way.  Sometimes I can see something and it not affect me, but other times I find that it causes me to feel emotionally driven for a bit.  I think so many people don't even make this "connection" because it truly is normal to let these things affect our heart and take it as truth.  But it's not!
These things do affect our hearts, and we really should guard what we let in.  I don't want to get so "normal" that I begin to lose this revelation.  I also don't want to get to a place where it's about ME controlling everything and miss what God is saying.  That might not make sense, but if I get over into what is right and wrong about everything, then I'm making it about me.  I don't want it to be about me, I want it to be about Christ in me and changing to see myself in Him.  I am starting to see that the more my eyes are focused on Him, the more peace I am feeling.  True, real peace.  Not the emotional roller coaster I often decide to hop on when I forget who I am.  Me getting off the emo-coaster, that is HUGE, especially if you really know me well, lol.  I know it is a mercy-heart gift gone carnal, but I'm starting to see truth. Emotions are not made to control us, but guide us in truth in Christ.  Heart protectors is more like it.
So instead, I'm using my emotions as a compass to guide my heart back to the true North, His truth.  I am His beloved, He loves me, and cares about my life, every.single.part!  I am just going to guard this precious heart of mine by being aware of His wisdom, His truths.  I know that sometimes I may have to choose to listen to uplifting, positive music, get off of the computer, and just bask in His love.  It's not that I am givng up anything, but that I'm gaining everything by guarding my heart from ignoring the connection I have with God.  So much of what we experience begins with a choice, and I choose to trust that no matter where my emotions are at, His loving-kindness will show me the path to peace.  I want my heart to reveal His plan.