Noah is 3.5 and Elijah is 11 months. I can't believe my little guy will be one in a few weeks! Time really does fly, and it seems even faster the second time around. Since Elijah's birth, so many wonderful things have happened.
Having a "normal" experience with a perfectly healthy baby really helped me to heal from the emotional battle I had after Noah's birth and the miscarriage. I was able to completely enjoy the wonderful experience of giving birth and not worrying about the next doctor's appointment. It was a lot easier in general the second time around too, since the first child is the learning experience. Poor Noah!! lol
Noah had eye surgery in September to correct the crossing of his eyes. It was a very rough surgery for him, but his eyes look amazing! In March, we had our final Cardiologist appointment.....EVER! Noah's heart looks perfect and is working just like a normal one. PRAISE GOD....we are so thankful! It was a HUGE milestone in our healing journey, so we threw a celebration party. We had pizza and cupcakes with hearts with our family here in Tennessee. Like most children, Noah loves parties with cake. In fact, he's labeled himself a "party animal".
Noah still has physical therapy once a week. It is a play-based approach so he responds very well. He still has a slight tilt on the right side of his neck and some weakness from the scoliosis, but he is getting stronger every day! We are thankful for having a wonderful program so close to home, as it is hard to find a good pediatric therapist.
Our current challenge is Noah's ears and speech. He still has a hole in his left eardrum from the tubes that were put in at eight months. The right tube has also fallen out without leaving a hole, praise God. We are still believing for a healing miracle in his ears to avoid surgery once again. His hearing loss is still very mild and will be followed closely. We will know in about a year how his ears respond without tubes and if the hole will close on it's own. As for his speech, he was evaluated and passed, but we are going to seek a second opinion just to be sure. He is not up to the "standard" in speech for his age that people often like to judge against , but he is doing great considering the challenges he's faced. Of course, we can understand him, but he is also shy and mumbles a bit around those he doesn't know well. Still, if there is some therapy that can help him learn to articulate his sentences better, we are all for it.
I guess the biggest lesson I've learned with Noah is that HE IS PERFECT despite the worldly imperfections!! God sees his strengths, his passion for life, his sweet spirit; He knows his purpose and plan here on Earth and I am SOOOOOOOO thankful He gave Noah to Jason and I to witness his amazing ministry! If you know Noah, you should feel blessed....ha ha ha!!!:) The goodness of God is a living example in our son, I could not ask for more and I don't! :) I accept every single piece of this little boy as exactly how it's supposed to be. I don't let those challenges bring me down anymore, I am a stronger person now. I know God is helping me make every single decisions, I have a direct line to my Daddy's voice concerning my children and that is how I make my decisions. I am thankful for and respect the opinions of doctor's, friends, and family, but through all of this I have grown closer to God and that is where my answers lie. There is no greater feeling of knowing the peace from the wisdom of God.
Elijah has taught me so much also. He is such a happy baby and I have been able to relax and enjoy life through my journey with him. He has reminded me of the happiness in my heart that faded a bit after Noah's birth. He is alot like his Dad, looks and personality, and of course that makes me very happy. Jason is an amazing man and I know both of the boys are going to become great men because of him. Elijah is learning to walk right now and he is ready to give Noah a run for his money! lol
Now that I have caught up a bit, I hope to blog more often. Shelli's blog has inspired me to revisit my love for writing, so thanks sis'. :)

How Time Flies...

Wow, it has been a while since my last entry. I have honestly just been so busy since Elijah's birth that I haven't done much writing at all. I was reminded the other day that it is a passion of mine so I thought I would give myself a few moments just to reflect on what has transpired over the past months.

Well, maybe not...ha ha ha, I hear my little man Elijah crying for me. This is my life..enough time to get one thought out and then back to taking care of precious little boys. I love it!

The Calm After the Storm

Noah's heart surgery went great, no complications whatsoever! What a relief! Now his heart is working like a normal one. The third defect actually closed on it's own too, so only one had to be closed off! Praise God! We had 2 amazing miracles with the defects repairing themselves and one miracle of surgical repair. It took me a while to see it in that way, but God works in many ways. We probably have a few more surgeries coming up (eyes and ears) so it's good that I've received that revelation!

I'm really learning how to live in the moment through all of this. Stressing out over what might come or what has already happened isn't working for me, so I'm trying to learn to be present and deal with today. It's really hard sometimes, I must admit. I think that is part of the wisdom of growing older though, now that I'm at the ripe old age of 30! Each medical decision has to be dealt with as it comes or else I get really overwhelmed. Plus it's hard to remember to trust in God's plan for today if I'm continually thinking about yesterday or tomorrow.

I'm now 7 months pregnant and baby Elijah will be here very soon!! After having the miscarriage last February, I've also dealt with several tough emotions during this pregnancy. It changes everything once you've lost a child. I still have a lot of sadness, but I just hold on to that vision of eternity spent with my baby and it helps. I am not really that nervous about the baby having birth defects since everything has looked great so far. Of course I would never choose that to happen again, but I know that I'm strong enough to handle more than I ever thought possible, so if there are challenges, I know I can make it.

Noah has taught me so much that I would've never known had we not been through these challenges the past two years, and that's God's grace in perfect form. He makes a way when there seems to be none, and gives us hope when we feel hopeless. Although there are days when I don't feel even close to thankful enough, in my heart, I know where my help comes from, and I am so happy to have that peace. "I lift my eyes up to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and Earth."

Thank you Lord for keeping Noah safe during surgery and healing his heart. We love you and give you eternal praise for the goodness you willingly give us every second of every day. Help me to remember to trust in You during those challenging days because I know You have Noah in the palm of your hand. First and foremost, he is Your son.