Noah's heart surgery went great, no complications whatsoever! What a relief! Now his heart is working like a normal one. The third defect actually closed on it's own too, so only one had to be closed off! Praise God! We had 2 amazing miracles with the defects repairing themselves and one miracle of surgical repair. It took me a while to see it in that way, but God works in many ways. We probably have a few more surgeries coming up (eyes and ears) so it's good that I've received that revelation!
I'm really learning how to live in the moment through all of this. Stressing out over what might come or what has already happened isn't working for me, so I'm trying to learn to be present and deal with today. It's really hard sometimes, I must admit. I think that is part of the wisdom of growing older though, now that I'm at the ripe old age of 30! Each medical decision has to be dealt with as it comes or else I get really overwhelmed. Plus it's hard to remember to trust in God's plan for today if I'm continually thinking about yesterday or tomorrow.
I'm now 7 months pregnant and baby Elijah will be here very soon!! After having the miscarriage last February, I've also dealt with several tough emotions during this pregnancy. It changes everything once you've lost a child. I still have a lot of sadness, but I just hold on to that vision of eternity spent with my baby and it helps. I am not really that nervous about the baby having birth defects since everything has looked great so far. Of course I would never choose that to happen again, but I know that I'm strong enough to handle more than I ever thought possible, so if there are challenges, I know I can make it.
Noah has taught me so much that I would've never known had we not been through these challenges the past two years, and that's God's grace in perfect form. He makes a way when there seems to be none, and gives us hope when we feel hopeless. Although there are days when I don't feel even close to thankful enough, in my heart, I know where my help comes from, and I am so happy to have that peace. "I lift my eyes up to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and Earth."
Thank you Lord for keeping Noah safe during surgery and healing his heart. We love you and give you eternal praise for the goodness you willingly give us every second of every day. Help me to remember to trust in You during those challenging days because I know You have Noah in the palm of your hand. First and foremost, he is Your son.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Hard Day
As for me, I haven't had a good day. :( I am emotionally drained because we got more bad news with Noah's health. The ear doctor removed the tube that had started working it's way out of his left ear. (they were surgically placed to help drain fluid when he was 8 mos. old). After he got it out, he said that the ear drum had a hole in it from the tube. Bad news because this is the rare bad thing that can happen after getting tubes, like a 1% chance for it to not close. This was his good ear also. He has mild hearing loss in his right ear due to structural defects. So now we have to make sure the ear doesn't get wet or he could get a nasty infection. Anyone with a toddler in a tub knows how hard that is going to be. He has to have his hearing checked even more often because of risk of hearing loss. And the likelihood of it closing on it's own is very rare according to the doctor. He pretty much thought it was impossible, so surgery is probably going to have to be done to repair it. And often it takes a lot of tries to finally close it. That's the LAST thing I want to hear right now, more surgery!!! I hate that word! The doctor felt really bad since he knew about the heart surgery next week, he really cares for Noah and says he's never seen a child go through so many things in 2 years. So I have been broken about this all day. If this were all we had to deal with, it wouldn't feel so overwhelming, but it's always something new! I just want a break, is that selfish? I know we are blessed to have Noah alive, I know there are kids who are way more worse off, but this is my baby and I want to protect him. I feel so helpless, it's out of my control. I rely on my faith to get me through and it never lets me down, but days like today sure test it, and make me wonder why Noah has to go through so much.
He's such a sweet little guy and is so strong. I know this is much harder on me than him, but it makes me so sad when I can see the fear in his eyes because he knows that a doctor or nurse is going to do something to him. He's so timid with strangers and I know it's because he has been through so much. He doesn't trust anyone and I know it's probably temporary, but it's still sad that he is so defensive. I feel guilty even complaining, but I just feel like getting it off my chest is always helpful.
He's such a sweet little guy and is so strong. I know this is much harder on me than him, but it makes me so sad when I can see the fear in his eyes because he knows that a doctor or nurse is going to do something to him. He's so timid with strangers and I know it's because he has been through so much. He doesn't trust anyone and I know it's probably temporary, but it's still sad that he is so defensive. I feel guilty even complaining, but I just feel like getting it off my chest is always helpful.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Noah's Testimony
This is a copy of the email I sent out in February 2006:
Friends and Family,
Today a wonderful miracle happened! Here’s what happened:
Baby Noah had his monthly appointment for his RSV shot today at 11 am. Last week, I called the nurse because Noah wasn’t eating very good, so she told us to show up to see his heart doctor at 10:30 and they would just make sure he was doing okay and gaining weight. Last Friday I got the automated call reminder about our appointment and confirmed. Well last night I got another reminder saying that our appointment started at 9:45 am, so I confirmed again although I was confused. So this morning as we were leaving I called to let them know that I wasn’t sure what time to show up and the receptionist said that he had an appointment to get an ECCO(heart ultrasound) at 9:45am..so I was like okay, we’ll be a little late but sounds good. His next Ecco wasn’t supposed to be until May.
So we get to our appointment 20 minutes late (imagine that:) and I wasn’t sure if they’d still do it, but they called us back quickly and she did the test. Noah was so happy the entire test...he was holding the lady’s hand and cooing and grinning at me! So they sent us back to the waiting room to get ready for our first appointment. Noah was weighed and measured. He’d gained a pound and grown an inch!! As we were getting some of his vitals, the tester came back and said she didn’t see the VSD(the major hole) and after looking at the last test wanted to do it again to make sure she didn’t miss the view. So we did it again and were sent to an exam room. Instead of his original heart dr coming in, the dr(also a cardiologist) who gives his shot came in and listened to his heart. He said it sounded really good and said the nurse would be in to take some blood and give his shot. So we both looked at him and asked about the ECCO. He said "Oh you had an ECCO done?". So he went and reviewed it and came back with great news!! Noah’s major hole is mostly if not completely closed! He said he could hear a small murmur from the other defects but that tissue had grown across the major hole closing it! The other two defects were also almost closed, but if for some reason they don’t completely close, there is a very minor procedure that can fix them if needed! PRAISE GOD! We never saw Noah’s usual doctor and no one seemed to know how the ECCO appointment happened...GOD wanted us to see that HE has healed our precious baby!
In the beginning we were told that it was VERY unlikely that the hole would close and that he was most likely to have surgery in a year. I listened to their words but never let it penetrate my heart...I knew that my God was big enough!
Everyday Noah and I have a morning prayer and pray for healing in his body. I know mommies sometimes think their babies are doing something special and they are told it’s just coinicidence..but this baby loves to pray and praise God. His whole attitude shifts to a calm attentive baby who smiles everytime I say "THANK YOU JESUS for healing me..we receive it in your name!" When we were in the hospital after his birth and I was lying in the bed in our room down the hall from Noah I laid my hand on my own heart to pray for Noah since I wasn’t holding him and felt a sensation that I can’t explain. God told me then that He was healing Noah and to stay in peace because the day was coming soon that we would be told that his heart was healing faster than anyone expected...and today was that day. I just knew she would tell us that his hole was smaller and when she said she couldn’t see the hole, I wasn’t suprised because I knew God answered the many prayers said for Noah.
So in two weeks Noah will be off his heart medicine, which we were supposed to be on for a year! I hope this testimony renews your faith in our awesome Dad! He loves us all so much and today we witnessed the awesome power of His love. Some people may call Noah lucky, but we all know that this baby is BLESSED! I pray for all of you to feel that faith in your daily struggles, even when you think there is no way God can help you HE CAN and HE WILL! We love you all and thank you once again...your prayers have been answered and we can now rejoice in the awesome healing power of our God.
Jason, Heather, and Noah
ISN’T THAT AMAZING!! I know some people think I am a religious freak, but when you experience the amazing grace God can impart upon your life, you can’t help but PRAISE him. It’s not always popular to give God the credit He so deserves, most of the time people think it’s luck anyway. But I will never cease to recognize where my blessings come from. GOD LOVES US SO MUCH! My baby Noah has really opened my eyes to the love that God has for us. As much as we love our children, He loves us even more and that’s just a hint at how far His love extends for us. So I hope that if you have any situation, big or small, in your life that you will just ask God to help you. He can’t say no..He doesn’t want to say no...that emptiness we sometimes feel is a longing for a relationship with our Creator. That is why we were created...to fellowship with Him. Sooo anyway, I just had to let that out, the more I share it the more excited I get. I can’t wait to post more great news in the future!!
Friends and Family,
Today a wonderful miracle happened! Here’s what happened:
Baby Noah had his monthly appointment for his RSV shot today at 11 am. Last week, I called the nurse because Noah wasn’t eating very good, so she told us to show up to see his heart doctor at 10:30 and they would just make sure he was doing okay and gaining weight. Last Friday I got the automated call reminder about our appointment and confirmed. Well last night I got another reminder saying that our appointment started at 9:45 am, so I confirmed again although I was confused. So this morning as we were leaving I called to let them know that I wasn’t sure what time to show up and the receptionist said that he had an appointment to get an ECCO(heart ultrasound) at 9:45am..so I was like okay, we’ll be a little late but sounds good. His next Ecco wasn’t supposed to be until May.
So we get to our appointment 20 minutes late (imagine that:) and I wasn’t sure if they’d still do it, but they called us back quickly and she did the test. Noah was so happy the entire test...he was holding the lady’s hand and cooing and grinning at me! So they sent us back to the waiting room to get ready for our first appointment. Noah was weighed and measured. He’d gained a pound and grown an inch!! As we were getting some of his vitals, the tester came back and said she didn’t see the VSD(the major hole) and after looking at the last test wanted to do it again to make sure she didn’t miss the view. So we did it again and were sent to an exam room. Instead of his original heart dr coming in, the dr(also a cardiologist) who gives his shot came in and listened to his heart. He said it sounded really good and said the nurse would be in to take some blood and give his shot. So we both looked at him and asked about the ECCO. He said "Oh you had an ECCO done?". So he went and reviewed it and came back with great news!! Noah’s major hole is mostly if not completely closed! He said he could hear a small murmur from the other defects but that tissue had grown across the major hole closing it! The other two defects were also almost closed, but if for some reason they don’t completely close, there is a very minor procedure that can fix them if needed! PRAISE GOD! We never saw Noah’s usual doctor and no one seemed to know how the ECCO appointment happened...GOD wanted us to see that HE has healed our precious baby!
In the beginning we were told that it was VERY unlikely that the hole would close and that he was most likely to have surgery in a year. I listened to their words but never let it penetrate my heart...I knew that my God was big enough!
Everyday Noah and I have a morning prayer and pray for healing in his body. I know mommies sometimes think their babies are doing something special and they are told it’s just coinicidence..but this baby loves to pray and praise God. His whole attitude shifts to a calm attentive baby who smiles everytime I say "THANK YOU JESUS for healing me..we receive it in your name!" When we were in the hospital after his birth and I was lying in the bed in our room down the hall from Noah I laid my hand on my own heart to pray for Noah since I wasn’t holding him and felt a sensation that I can’t explain. God told me then that He was healing Noah and to stay in peace because the day was coming soon that we would be told that his heart was healing faster than anyone expected...and today was that day. I just knew she would tell us that his hole was smaller and when she said she couldn’t see the hole, I wasn’t suprised because I knew God answered the many prayers said for Noah.
So in two weeks Noah will be off his heart medicine, which we were supposed to be on for a year! I hope this testimony renews your faith in our awesome Dad! He loves us all so much and today we witnessed the awesome power of His love. Some people may call Noah lucky, but we all know that this baby is BLESSED! I pray for all of you to feel that faith in your daily struggles, even when you think there is no way God can help you HE CAN and HE WILL! We love you all and thank you once again...your prayers have been answered and we can now rejoice in the awesome healing power of our God.
Jason, Heather, and Noah
ISN’T THAT AMAZING!! I know some people think I am a religious freak, but when you experience the amazing grace God can impart upon your life, you can’t help but PRAISE him. It’s not always popular to give God the credit He so deserves, most of the time people think it’s luck anyway. But I will never cease to recognize where my blessings come from. GOD LOVES US SO MUCH! My baby Noah has really opened my eyes to the love that God has for us. As much as we love our children, He loves us even more and that’s just a hint at how far His love extends for us. So I hope that if you have any situation, big or small, in your life that you will just ask God to help you. He can’t say no..He doesn’t want to say no...that emptiness we sometimes feel is a longing for a relationship with our Creator. That is why we were created...to fellowship with Him. Sooo anyway, I just had to let that out, the more I share it the more excited I get. I can’t wait to post more great news in the future!!
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