"Perfect Love drives out fear!"

Since Noah has been to so many doctors, he went through a lot of anxiety having anything done to him, even a simple haircut. Understandably, he was very scared and terrified if he thought he was going to be bothered in any way. He used to scream and cry uncontrollably when approached by a doctor or nurse, but things have gotten so much better lately. I have really prayed for him to learn to trust others and to not live in fear that he is going to be hurt at every appointment. Now that he is a little older and can understand that I will always be there to comfort him, he seems to give me a look of trust and understanding.

Parenting is hard work, but I have learned that effective communication is possible, even to the littlest of ears. I have been patient with Noah, loving him through his fears, never caring what other's think about his doctor's office tantrums, because it was fear that brought them on and he had every reason to be scared. A different child emerged, a scared little boy, and though it broke my heart, I knew one day he would come to understand that we take him to all these appointments to help him, not subject him to his fears.

I know this may not seem like a big deal, but in the past week Noah has allowed me to put a band-aid on him! He had a negative association with them since he has worn so many in his little life, and my cartoon character band-aid boxes have remained full...until last week. I was cleaning out my bathroom closet and he saw the boxes and asked for me to put one on his toe. *tear* He has since developed invisible boo-boos and has requested that Sponge Bob, Clifford, and Curious George come out of their boxes. He typically throws a fit until I take the band-aids off, so this is a big step! He's wearing them like stickers and asking me to wear them too!

We also had our first successful, tear-free haircut yesterday. We have a wonderful hairdresser, Missy, who has always gone above and beyond to cut his thick head of fast-growing hair. She has sat on the floor and cut his hair for over 2 years, bought him candy, given him toys, and worked patiently with us through the fears and tears. Missy loves Noah and he loves her too, despite being scared, he is always ready to see her because he can feel her love for him. He was terrified of the clippers and often times I got a workout trying to keep him still enough to get the hair off his ears, neck, and out of his eyes. Yesterday was a complete different experience, not one tear was shed, and he was even laughing at the clippers saying they tickled. He sat in the chair instead of the floor, very still and cooperative while Missy gave him a haircut. I could see that she was so proud of him, and shared in this milestone with us.

All those prayers and instructions on how to help Noah understand his journey are starting to manifest. Something has changed, he is opening up, showing his amazing personality to others a bit more, and I am thankful for these huge milestones. As parents, it's hard to watch your child struggle in knowing how to relate to others, being timid because of negative events in their lives beyond our control. But once again, God has knocked down another wall, given Noah the confidence to overcome his fears through love. We have been blessed for the most part with compassionate caregivers, and I know that is God's favor in our lives. Those that haven't been so compassionate, well, I'll spare you my thoughts on them and just say they have made us stronger, smarter people. lol So thank you to all those wonderful medical professionals, Missy, and many others who have helped Noah learn to overcome his fears by loving our little boy.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 27:1)

"Be strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the LORD God--my God--will be with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the LORD." 2 Chronicles 20:17

"The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?" Revelation 2:10

Noah is 3.5 and Elijah is 11 months. I can't believe my little guy will be one in a few weeks! Time really does fly, and it seems even faster the second time around. Since Elijah's birth, so many wonderful things have happened.
Having a "normal" experience with a perfectly healthy baby really helped me to heal from the emotional battle I had after Noah's birth and the miscarriage. I was able to completely enjoy the wonderful experience of giving birth and not worrying about the next doctor's appointment. It was a lot easier in general the second time around too, since the first child is the learning experience. Poor Noah!! lol
Noah had eye surgery in September to correct the crossing of his eyes. It was a very rough surgery for him, but his eyes look amazing! In March, we had our final Cardiologist appointment.....EVER! Noah's heart looks perfect and is working just like a normal one. PRAISE GOD....we are so thankful! It was a HUGE milestone in our healing journey, so we threw a celebration party. We had pizza and cupcakes with hearts with our family here in Tennessee. Like most children, Noah loves parties with cake. In fact, he's labeled himself a "party animal".
Noah still has physical therapy once a week. It is a play-based approach so he responds very well. He still has a slight tilt on the right side of his neck and some weakness from the scoliosis, but he is getting stronger every day! We are thankful for having a wonderful program so close to home, as it is hard to find a good pediatric therapist.
Our current challenge is Noah's ears and speech. He still has a hole in his left eardrum from the tubes that were put in at eight months. The right tube has also fallen out without leaving a hole, praise God. We are still believing for a healing miracle in his ears to avoid surgery once again. His hearing loss is still very mild and will be followed closely. We will know in about a year how his ears respond without tubes and if the hole will close on it's own. As for his speech, he was evaluated and passed, but we are going to seek a second opinion just to be sure. He is not up to the "standard" in speech for his age that people often like to judge against , but he is doing great considering the challenges he's faced. Of course, we can understand him, but he is also shy and mumbles a bit around those he doesn't know well. Still, if there is some therapy that can help him learn to articulate his sentences better, we are all for it.
I guess the biggest lesson I've learned with Noah is that HE IS PERFECT despite the worldly imperfections!! God sees his strengths, his passion for life, his sweet spirit; He knows his purpose and plan here on Earth and I am SOOOOOOOO thankful He gave Noah to Jason and I to witness his amazing ministry! If you know Noah, you should feel blessed....ha ha ha!!!:) The goodness of God is a living example in our son, I could not ask for more and I don't! :) I accept every single piece of this little boy as exactly how it's supposed to be. I don't let those challenges bring me down anymore, I am a stronger person now. I know God is helping me make every single decisions, I have a direct line to my Daddy's voice concerning my children and that is how I make my decisions. I am thankful for and respect the opinions of doctor's, friends, and family, but through all of this I have grown closer to God and that is where my answers lie. There is no greater feeling of knowing the peace from the wisdom of God.
Elijah has taught me so much also. He is such a happy baby and I have been able to relax and enjoy life through my journey with him. He has reminded me of the happiness in my heart that faded a bit after Noah's birth. He is alot like his Dad, looks and personality, and of course that makes me very happy. Jason is an amazing man and I know both of the boys are going to become great men because of him. Elijah is learning to walk right now and he is ready to give Noah a run for his money! lol
Now that I have caught up a bit, I hope to blog more often. Shelli's blog has inspired me to revisit my love for writing, so thanks sis'. :)